The Secret to a Long Life

Dance in the pasta aisle, strike up a conversation in the pickle section

Thank you to the beautiful shopper in the pasta aisle at Nugget who danced with me to the irresistible swing music playing on the sound system this afternoon. You were so lovely and you made my day. How wonderful that a woman, nearly twice my age, who grew up with the swing of Benny Goodman, could dance so effortlessly with a woman who learned country swing on the weathered dance floor of the Eagle's Nest in Billings, Montana. I've never danced so well and I hope anyone who has a chance to review the Nugget security footage from Aisle 13 this afternoon enjoys the moment as much as I did.

It was a Monday and I was in a hurry to get dinner and get home. I remember telling myself, as I often do, “Get in and get out.” But the music was infectious. When I saw the beautiful silver-haired woman tapping her foot and snapping her fingers in front of the rigatoni, I knew we had to dance. And when the song ended, my new friend looked me square in the eye, leaned down and kissed my hand.

This memory came to mind as I watched one of my favorite Ted Talks, “The secret to living longer may be your social life.” In her presentation, developmental psychologist Susan Pinker shares her assertion, along with a study, that shows the greatest indicator of how long we will live is the number of face-to-face interactions we have every day.

The study by Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a researcher at Brigham Young University, was summarized with 10 indicators that determine a person’s longevity. Listed from least powerful to most powerful, they were:

Clean air

Hypertension treatment

Being lean vs. overweight

Exercise

Cardiac rehab

Flu vaccine

Quit boozing

Quit smoking

Close relationships

Social interaction

Social interaction ranked as the most important indicator of a long life. According to the study, the number of interactions we have with people on a daily basis is more important even than those close relationships we have with the people we love the most.

Community and a sense of belonging are vital to our well-being. As Ms. Pinker shared, “Building in-person interaction into our cities, into our workplaces and into our agendas bolsters the immune system, sends feel-good hormones surging through the bloodstream and the brain, and helps us live longer.”

Knowing we will be seen, recognized and welcomed is one of the reasons so many of us continue to get up every morning, brush our teeth and venture out into the world.

We can join book clubs and poker groups. We can walk our dogs around the block and talk to our neighbors. We can buy our morning coffee from the same shop every day. There are many ways to find our people.

My way is grocery shopping at Nugget.

Davis has a wide variety of grocery stores. We have big ones, small ones, chain stores and independently owned stores. We have supermarkets that play great music and some that don’t. There are stores that specialize in local and organic and others that regularly offer bargains. They are all different, all fully stocked and all provide two things human beings desperately need: food and endless opportunities for social interaction.

If you want guaranteed face-to-face social interaction, all you need to do is go to your nearest grocery store with a desire to interact.

Over the years I’ve had thousands of meaningful social interactions while grocery shopping. I could never recount all the conversations and encounters with old friends, new friends and strangers, but they occur every time I go to the grocery store. Many times, they are small interactions, like “Hey, Chuck!” to our favorite checker, or “How is your writing coming along?” to another checker (who also happens to be a writer and singer). Or to my friend Susanne who I see about once a month when we both happen to be shopping at the same time, “What’s for dinner tonight?”

Other times the encounters are helpful, such as the time our daughter wanted to create a charcuterie board for dinner. Emme, who is on a first-name basis with the cheese experts at Nugget, secured the assistance of Christina who helped her choose the items and advised her on how to assemble the board.

When I can’t quite get my barbecued ribs to “fall off the bone,” I ask the guys behind the meat counter and my problem is solved (you must remove the thin, plastic-like membrane from the back of the ribs by gripping it with a paper towel, then cook them low and slow).

And other times, the experiences are the kind that stay with you, make you think, and help you to understand the world a little bit better. Like spontaneous dancing. Or changing the tire for a mom in the parking lot who was already having a tough day. Or asking the gentleman buying the pickles if they are good and ending up learning all about his life in Brooklyn, how he moved to Davis to be closer to his son and grandchildren, then taking his recommendation on the Grillo’s Pickles, as well as the lox and bagels, and going home with a bunch of stuff that was never on your shopping list.

If you haven’t already found your grocery store, find it. Make it yours. Get to know the butcher and the baker and the bagger. Get to know the other shoppers. Smile. Be curious. Ask questions. Next time the kind associate asks if he or she can help you out with your groceries, say “Absolutely!” If you’re curious about the beer with the funny name that a college student is reaching for, ask about it. When the checker who is also a serious “foodie” recommends the newest meat substitute and even leaves his post to show you where it is in the cooler, try it and then let him know what you thought. You will have a new friend, another reason to look forward to grocery shopping, and you will possibly have added to the length of your life.

I intend to grocery shop every day for the rest of my life. And I am hopeful, if I do, I’ll be telling that story to my great-great grandchildren when I am 105.