When disappointment comes, don’t despair. Just shuffle the deck.

“Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4:00 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.”

This sentiment from a commencement speech written by Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich rings true with every word.

We worry ourselves sick about things that never happen and then, BOOM, out of nowhere, on a Tuesday afternoon, you get a phone call that destroys you. 

You can labor through your high school career taking AP classes, joining all the clubs, doing the service work, A-cing your SAT, certain you are securing your rightful place at the college of your dreams. And then that rejection letter shows up in your inbox. You didn’t get into your dream college. Or any of the colleges on your list. 

You can plan the trip of a lifetime, save your money, do the research, make the reservations at the best hotels, pack your bags with all the special clothes you bought. And then someone gets sick. And you can’t go.

Or maybe you work for the same employer for 55 years, proud of the work you’ve done and looking forward to many more years of the same and then, in a short unexpected phone call on a Tuesday afternoon, you’re done.

Life is unpredictable. Full of setbacks, disappointments, curve balls.

In our family, we have a saying, started by my husband and taken to heart by the rest of us, that when unexpected things happen, we shouldn’t look at them as “bad.” These surprises, disappointing as they may be, are simply a reshuffling of the deck. Most likely changing everything about the direction you thought and hoped your life was going.

The dream job you didn’t get? Reshuffling. 

The canceled trip? Reshuffle. 

A speeding ticket that made you miss your flight to Portland? Yep. Shuffling.

Community college when you were hoping for Cal? Shuffling, shuffling, shuffling.

The deck is being reshuffled and it’s a brand new game.

So many times, more often than not, that new game is more fun, more successful, more satisfying than you ever could have imagined. And none of it could have come without that unexpected setback, defeat, disappointment. And the subsequent reshuffling of the deck.

We tell our kids every day, and we remind ourselves to do the same: Embrace change. Roll with the punches. When a door closes, look for a window. Accept the challenge that is in front of you.

And learn to shuffle. 

Try the Riffle Shuffle. Or the Corgi Shuffle. Maybe the Overhand Shuffle? Shuffle like a pit boss. Or just throw the whole deck face down on the table and mix them all up like you did when you were four.

Get good at shuffling. You’ll be amazed at the wonderful and unexpected places it will take you.